somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
