I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
