YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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