I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
