$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
