i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i was born a porn star she said
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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