fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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