The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
