if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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