I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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