I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
