So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
