just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
