Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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