You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
