oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
