It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
