Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
