Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
