So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize