Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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