Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
