haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
