i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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