Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
