I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
