i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
