Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
