i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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