I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize