When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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