11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
