My nipple is on Facebook.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
