she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
