You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
