im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
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I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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