A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
