wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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