just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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