I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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