Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
