I smell stomach acid.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize