i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
