Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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