Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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