Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
