so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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