just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
