how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
