i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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