Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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