why didn't you poke me back
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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