You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
