you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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