Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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