I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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