4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
