Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
