My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
