Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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