i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
