Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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