Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
even my farts smell like vagina
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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